


Shards

by shk_timeofdeath



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Broken, Drama, M/M, slight romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2019-03-31 19:58:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13982244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shk_timeofdeath/pseuds/shk_timeofdeath
Summary: Chan finds out about Soonyoung's troubles.





	Shards

**Author's Note:**

> Made slightly out of random and didn't really have a proper plot so yeah, anyways enjoy? Comments are appreciated because I like being told what I lack or such! Heh hoho

Wherein Chan is tasked to be the head instructor but Soonyoung just so happens expect that it would have been him. It was alright though, until Soonyoung would eventually interrupt Chan with his own opinions and moves when the younger is presenting and teaching his co-members about what and how the flow of movements will be.

 

It was frustrating for the younger, and he would be anle to eventually shut Soonyoung up by telling him that he would take it into consideration and the older would always be left grinning to himself cheekily.

 

 

One afternoon, after practice have ended. "Lee Chan!" Soonyoung chirped as he slung an arm over Chan's shoulders while the younger was taking a drink from his water bottle. He shot the older a look and scrunched his nose before putting the cap back on the bottle, "Yes hyung?"

 

"Have you thought about it?" The elder asked while playfully wiggling his brows up and down- Chan pursed his lips as he thought before his mouth formed an o as he realized what the other was talking about.

 

"Oh, you mean that spider like move for the bridge?" and Soonyoung eagerly nodded. "Yeah, you're going to include it in right? It looks cool right?" Soonyoung tugged the other closer while the latter was obviously trying to get away from the firm hold.

 

Sighing, Chan pouted slightly and nudged at the older's side, "Hyung, I'm still thinking, besides I already have the moves fixed for that one.. I'll try to find a way to include it in alright?" Soonyoung pouted this time, he removed his arm from the younger and his shoulders slumped down in disappointment- he really wanted to include the spider move since he thought it looked very cool and fitted the bridge's beat.

 

Chan only stared at sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose, "Come on hyung, cheer up. What about I treat you outside for snacks? Will that make it up for not including the moves you wanted?"

 

Soonyoung stared for a few seconds before a small smile had made its way to appear on his face, "If you treat me for the whole month, sure." And so, that's how Chan got to shut the older up for interrupting him in teaching for two weeks.

 

 

Two weeks later though, Soonyoung disappeared- well more like stopped attending the practice. And Chan, feeling bothered with Soonyoung's sudden absence since the older was not like someone to skip practices, he decided to visit Soonyoung in his apartment.

 

Soonyoung was always known as the bright happy pill in the group. He was always loud, always lifting up the mood of the group when they're down or when they're too quiet or just out of random. He always had this bright smile plastered on his face that results to making his eyes disappear into small upside down crescents even more.

 

So it was a pure shock for Chan, to find the older sitting in the far corner of his messed up bedroom. He was huddled in a corner, hugging his knees close to his chest with his face buried in his arms.

 

He was asleep, but the sight broke Chan's heart, especially when he came closer and tried to peek at the older's face to see it stained with dried tears. "Hyung..?" Chan whispered softly as he tried to shake the older up.

 

And when Soonyoung did, his eyes widened and he almost panicked when he was face to face with a worried looking Chan. "W-What are you doing h..ere?" Soonyoung's voice sound hoarse. "To check on you, you haven't attended practice for 3 days straight. What's wrong, hyung?" Chan asked and decided to sit infront of Soonyoung.

 

Chan's face showed so much worry that Soonyoung felt himself shrink in embarrassment and frustration thinking 'How can I let him see me like this?' "Hyung, what's wrong?" Chan asked again, voice soft. Soonyoung only stared before looking away, "You should go. I'll be fine."

 

"You're not fine and I don't think you would be if you're alone. You can talk to me hyung.." Soonyoung sighed, buried his face back on his arms and tried to scoot closer to the wall if possible. Chan only stared before deciding to get up and leave the older's room. Soonyoung thought 'Finally..'

 

But Chan came back in with a t ray filled with food. "I rummaged through your fridge, it's all stocked up and it seems you haven't ate.. You should eat.."

 

 

It took Chan awhile to actually get to convince his hyung to eat, and once the older was done with eating the younger practically ordered him to get himself washed up and change into a new and fresh set of clothes.

 

"Are you ready to talk hyung?"

 

"You don't really need to be take care of me, Chan ah. I can manage.."

 

"Tell me what happened hyung.."

 

 

 

\---

_Soonyoung's POV_

 

The first time I saw him, he immediately caught my attention.  
He looked mysterious. At first, it seemed like he's too far out of reach.. so close but so far.

 

I didn't know how to approach him even if I wanted to so I stayed a safe distance, just watching and admiring from afar.

 

It took my all, to finally approach and greet him a happy birthday. It was out of the blue, but I don't regret it because I finally got to start a conversation with him.

 

Despite the fact he was quite reserved when we were talking, I did my best to keep the conversation going eventhough I wasn't really sure about what I was doing- for all I know I might've been annoying him already but he just didn't want to seem rude so he tolerated me.

 

 

We were in love  
We met and became a memory that can’t be erased  
It was a commendable melodrama  
A pretty good ending  
That’s all I need  
I loved you

 

 

Everything seemed like a blur, but we became friends, and I also found out that he was already courting someone. I didn't know why, but my heart ached knowing about it but despite of what I was feeling, I cheered on you both.

 

I didn't know how it happened, but one night, I found myself confessing to him. That I liked him. I expected him to stop talking to me, but he didn't I thought we would go awkward but we didn't. Then few days after, he confessed to me as well and I found out that he didn't really like the person he was courting, and he only courted because he felt too bad to reject.

 

I ended up asking for a chance, a chance for me to court him. And he gave me the chance. Despite not being sure of how I would actually do it, I did my best- and two months after, he finally answered me and said "Yes".

 

Nothing much change between us, we still acted like we were just friends but we got closer, shared deeper and more meaningful talks and feelings with each other. And I can say that it is the best.

 

 

We argued at times, there were times we haven't been able to talk to for days because we get busy with out own schedules and shits to attend to, but despite all that, we were still able to do our best in catching up with each other and making each other feel our love and care.

 

A lot of friends and mutual friends supported us. And it was overwhelming and it made us both happy. We make each other happy, and we were each other's pills to suppress our depression. We were each other's treatment.

 

Everything has been going very well. Or so that's what they thought. That's what everyone else thought.

 

We've been together for a year now, but at the same time, we have been both going through some deep shits.

 

Life is catching up with us. Other responsibilities- more important ones are starting to pile up that we can't just ignore.

 

We tried.

 

We tried to both hold on.

 

But I'm growing tired. I'm getting too pressured. Too frustrated. I'm losing interest in everything. Even losing interest with my own life.

 

One night, I broke down. I started asking him 'What Ifs', I was subtly asking him about what may come in the future.

 

And as expected, he caught on and asked me what I really wanted to say.

 

Though I was afraid.

 

Though I was unsure.

 

Though I didn't even know what I was going to say.

 

Though I wasn't sure how everything will turn out of what I may say.

 

 

I told him what my troubles are. I asked for time, I wasn't breaking up with him, I just wanted to have a bit of time to let me figure out myself first so I can fix myself.

 

I didn't want to trouble him, I don't like others worrying over me too much.

 

And then he told me, he understands, that he feels the same. And he told me he won't change me but instead will just stay by my side- to support me.

 

Few days later, I can feel the tension. The awkwardness, but despite that, we kept on trying.

 

Until it was him who started with the topic again, and I felt even more pressured.

 

I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know what to say. I don't know what now.

 

 

The love scenario that we made  
Now the lights are off  
When you flip the last page  
The curtains will quietly fall

 

 

The electric feeling in between my ribs  
Your eyes that made me know I am loved  
I learned so much from you, I filled up my other half  
You’re too precious to just leave in the past

 

 

Sometimes, I’ll think of the memories  
If you’re in it, that’s good enough for me

 

 

We went through pain  
We got jealous too, so funny  
We loved like crazy  
That’s good enough for us

 

 

We were in love  
We met  
That’s good enough  
I loved you

 

 

"I loved you Lee Jihoon. I know you loved me too, but I believe this is as far as we go. I will never forget our memories together- the happy ones and the sad ones.. I will never forget you. You've been a big part of me, but it seems like we're only hurting each other now. It might be better this way,. If we are meant to be, we will be. But for now, thank you. We were met, we got close, we became together. We fell in love. That's good enough for now. I loved you. Goodbye."

 

 

 

\---

Soonyoung had told Chan his story. His and Jihoon's.

 

"We're done.. One of his friends even confronted me and told me I hurt Jihoon.. But I'm hurting too.." He had his head low as he choked out his words. Chan can feel the frustration and pain behind the older's voice. "You must be judging me now too.. Since I took a move without 'considering' his feelings.. Hahaha.." He continued and even forced out a laugh.

 

Frowning, Chan scooted closer to Soonyoung before enveloping the older in his arms for a hug. "I understand you hyung.. In my understanding, you were still considering his feelings.."

 

 

Soonyoung didn't intend to cry anymore especially infront of his dongsaeng, but his tears just automatically poured down when he felt the warm embrace and when he heard the younger speak and side with him.

 

He wanted to act like everything was fine, that there was nothing wrong by trying his best to keep up his facade. His true self was hiding behind the mask of Kwon Hoshi who was always smiley, loud, laughing and making a fool out of himself just to make others laugh.

 

He thought no one noticed and wouldn't bother, but Chan came. And the younger is even trying to make him feel better and stay by his side.

 

He thought that he will be continued to be judged. But Chan stayed still.

 

 

 

The day went on, Chan holding Soonyoung as the older cried. Hours past dinner time- after Chan was able to get Soonyoung to eat again, the older had gotten to fall asleep on his bed. The younger sat on the edge- watching over his hyung as he thought to himself.

 

Chan had noticed the marks on the older's wrists that he was hiding hours ago with the use of his long sleeves.

 

Chan was able to read the hate messages that the older have received

 

Chan found out that the reason why Soonyoung kept on wanting to choreograph was to get his mind off of his problems. Soonyoung knows it was cowardly to run away from his problems but he had no idea on how to face them so he continued to pretend and just keep it all to himself.

 

 

 

Soonyoung despite someone he found annoying, was someone he treasured the most and he didn't like having and seeing his hyung hurt. He just wants the older to feel the happiness he deserves.

 

 _"I'll help you heal hyung, I'll protect you from them. I'll be by your side. I'll help you get through this."_ Chan muttered under his breath as he fixed the blanket over Soonyoung's body.


End file.
